I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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