i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
