Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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