I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
