She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My bed smells like the plague
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