Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
