So drunk its hurt
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Everything about him screamed your future.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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