I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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