whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
