One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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