I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
