he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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