My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
