White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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