I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
