if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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