so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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