Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
