Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i now understand why vodka
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
