I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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