someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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