she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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