I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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