How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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