I wish I only lived at night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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