I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I puked a lego.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize