You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I supernannyed him into submission