his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
