He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
