Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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