Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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