He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
