didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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