you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
