It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
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