We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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