I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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