In the future we'll all be gay
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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