thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
