Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
