No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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