Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
