There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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