i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
