I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize