I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
