I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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