Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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