Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize