I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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