nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
