I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Don't tell me you're on acid again
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
