i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Acid is not a monday night drug
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I forgot wine drunk hurts
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
