come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
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The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That accounts for only three of the penises
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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