so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
