He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
