Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"