WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days