Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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