We're like a lot better than the average bears
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.